7 months with 2 pearlies

Baby Jairus is now7 months and these days he is so much fun to play with.He can now sit up for long n loves to lunge forward to grab things,at times he even tend to stand on his own.Eveyone comments how active he is just like a worm who wriggles non- stop.N yes he rolled off the bed just the other day when i stepped out of the room for less than 10 seconds, i think he had a bad fright.Mummy was apologising non stop to the crying bub who was wailing away.thank god he fell in between the playyard n the bed and did not hurt his head.he baby talk alot and loves to play peekaboo most.Silly parents,grandparents and aunties are always trying ways n means just to make the little one smile.

His 2 lower pearlies are out and OUch it does hurt when he tend to bite u these days.He drools alot and tend to bite alot too guess his gums are really feeling uncomfortable.The other day i even tried to let him suckle me for awhile gosh i guess that was a mistake and these days he doesnt need mummy anymore.The darn Pacifier has officially replaced mummy.Sigh ,if i could turn back time i would hv insisted on latching him and try ways n means to establish breastfeeding.I do miss those moments.

Anyway my little jairus looks like a one year old toddler and everyone comments how cute and what a doll he is.Most of the time he is very friendly,smiling to everyone who talks to him and even allowing others to carry him.However he seems to be selective too, there are certain ppl whom jairus doesnt like and will cry the moment he sees them.The inqusitive little bub loves playing with tissue paper the most,the other day i caught him sitting quietly at a corner and when i went over he was happily tearing n eating tissue paper away.his guilty look was so cute and i did manage to snap a few shots.haha.Suddenly Jairus seems to be outgrowing all his shoes,but i remember the last time i compared his feet with the shoes they were way too small  and now he cant fit into them anymore.Seems like jairus is growing so fast even i cant keep up with him.What a pity i love those shoes and he only wore them for 1-2 times only.i better start digging out all the clothes which i packed earlier on in case my little boy cant fit into them anymore.

He is sucha darling boy,i wonder what will happen to our relationship when i return bk to work in a few weeks time?i fear that he is no longer close to me,i fear that his grandparents will hv diff parenting methods,i fear that i will miss out many of his milestones such as crawling or walking,i fear that i cant manage my time well, i fear that i will regret gg bk to work...all these uncertainity is definitely stressing me out.I can only place my fears unto God and commit myself to him.

These 7 mths have definitely been the happiest days of my life.I will always remember these days.

Blues

I have been feeling very depressed lately,the reality is sinking in.....my no pay leave is ending soon and i have to be back to work in a mth time.The thought of leaving jairus to others to take care really breaks my heart.I understand his grandparents love him alot and he will be in good hands but this means i am no longer the first person he sees when he gets up every morning n im gonna miss that lovely morning smile of his.i love how he and i laze around in bed each morning and i will miss preparing porridge,feeding him and even bathing him.I wonder whats the point of giving birth to a baby n leaving him in someone else care at the end of the day.I will only be seeing him for a few hrs each day.Will i miss his moment of crawling and walking?i really cherish every moment we spend together now and i wonder will i regret my decision when he grows up.I gonna miss him so so much.I miss the days when i was preggie with him , at least he is in my stomach and i can protect and be with him all the time.

He is growing at an amazing rate and the day will come when Jairus grow up and loves to be with his friends instead of us.How long more can i carry n cuddle him in my arms?Im so envious that my frens are able to be a stay at home mum,i dun wanna be a green eye monster,i love munn n do not wish to burden him with any financial issues.

Yes im able to take no pay leave up to 4 years but since im getting my connect plan next yr i really dunno if i should be going back.On the other hand Im worried abt $$$.WIll i be able to cope without any salary>how abt all my commitment?I asked god for an answer but i feel he is ignoring me,i dun hear from him.Many ppl hv been encouraging me to stay at hm for a yr or two,can i really afford?

I have cried many times over  this issue,can anyone enlighten me?