I finally get a chance to blog again,it has been a long time since i last blog cuz once again i couldnt remember my password.For the last few weeks i have recieved good news from my buddies that they r getting married too.But when i know all our wedding dates r so close i begin to worry cuz first of all looks like i wont have any bridemaids left my ideal wedding was to have the whole group of them being my bridemaid looks like i can forget abt it,secondly i will be damn disappointed if anyone of them is able to turn up for my wedding shd they are superstitious abt "clashing"....
Lst week J told me she is not coming for my wedding i was abt to kill her...she has been my best fren all these yrs hw can she possibly miss my wedding...N hw do i let her know her presence n well- wishes mean alot to me..afterall of these yrs of friendship how can she nt turn up...i was utterly disappointed in her. i intended to ignore her for quite some time but since yesterday was her bday i stopped the cold war n asked her out for dinner.But for the first time i din wanna talk abt my wedding with her cuz the thought of her nt being there on my big day really breaks my heart.there is still a year ahead n i really hope she can change her mind n be there for me...now i finally understand y was Y so pissed off with me for missisng her ROM...
sigh isnt wedding supposed to be a joy btw Km n me.Y are there so much worries n concerns..
We are worried abt the date, first it must be sch holiday for both KM n myself then im hoping to get a date so tt J can turn up for my wedding...i worry abt engaging brida services l,i worry abt the wedding venue,i worry abt the guest list cuz there are simply a few irritating ppl whom i dun wanna see them on my wedding day..(but looks like i have to invite cuz they knw my darling as well) i worry the wedding is nt up to what i expected..i worry abt the cost as well, i worry i cant be a good daughter in law,i cant be a good wife and etc..I begin to hate myself more n more..y am i a WATER person..
Almighty god, marriage is a sacred gift frm god n is supposed to be a joyful occassion,father i pray that everything will run smoothly for us. I Pray that i will be able to prepare most of the stuff so tt KM can focus on his work..i dun wanna be a burden,Pray that i will be a happier person n will be able to look at things frm diff perspective..lord i can do all things through you who give me strength.Amen.
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